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I’m An Atheist. I’ve Always Told My Children There Is No Afterlife.

Andrew Hall
6 min readDec 13, 2019

These days the culture wars are a part of the American way of life. Cultural conflicts rage over a variety of topics, from pronoun usage to biblical bathrooms. A common tactic used by conservatives is crying out, “What about the children, you liberal monsters?”

Ladies and gentlemen, I am one of those liberal monsters.

You see, I’m an atheist, and I’m raising my children as atheists. From the earliest days, I’ve communicated to them that God is an imaginary friend many adults have. Oh, and by the way, do not tell believers that because they may get upset.

I call this the Prime Directive of atheist parenting. My two kids have, by and large, followed it while they were in elementary and middle school. They’re now in high school, and they are at an age where they discuss significant issues with their friends. And that includes faith. We live in a deep blue state, so they haven’t gotten a large amount of blowback from others.

I want communicate this right now: My kids are, well, normal. They’re not super kids. They’re not misanthropes with God-sized holes in their fictitious souls. My two atheist raised kids are muddling through life, just like their peers. They have strengths and weaknesses. They’re learning how to…

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Andrew Hall
Andrew Hall

Written by Andrew Hall

I’m a comedy writer, podcaster, YouTuber, and activist. Millions have read my material and laughed. Support my work on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/AndrewHa

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