It turns out I was dating a Potemkin Village

(Note: Grigory Potemkin served under the reign of Russian Empress Catherine the Great. By all records she was great, however, many parts of her empire that were not. In short, it was a dump. Reportedly, Grigory wanted to hide the truth from her. While touring the countryside he made sure she only saw beautiful villages and happy serfs. None of it was real. He had created fake villages and filled them with those who would play the part.)

I woke up early this morning to discover my life was a lie. Perhaps I’m being over dramatic. Let me try that again. My entire life wasn’t a lie, just the part that included my heart and soul.

Friends warned me for months this day would eventually come. When I first started dating her I had no idea she was, in fact, a Potemkin Village. Looking back on our three month relationship I still don’t know if I was a love struck fool or that she was very, very good at hiding behind a veneer of tooth whitener, an impressive Instagram account, and the way her nose wrinkled whenever someone said, “irregardless.”

Old friends have a way of telling you the truth about the person you’re dating. Typically, they say it with a sense of resignation because they know there is little chance their sage advice will be listened to. Thus was the case with Scott. I’ve known Scott since middle school. When he told me I was dating a municipality artificially designed to impress the unwary I said, “How do you know that?” He then noted my all of my previous relationships ended up with me alone on Potemkin’s…