During happier times.

Man’s Penis Finds Religion

Boston, MA — Brian Longfellow, a 44-year-old husband and father of three, recently came to the realization that his penis converted to fundamentalist Christianity and is now a proud member of the local Southern Baptist church.

The recent turn of events came as a surprise to Mr. Longfellow, who grew up in a rather casual liberal Christian and we try to ignore a lot of the Bible family. A large emphasis was placed on…